As a few of you may know, I spend a fair amount of my time writing complimentary/cutting words about music and dance for a couple of magazines and newspapers. I enjoy it, and don't think I'm too bad at it. However, I don't think I've ever done a product review before - mostly because I never buy anything - so the following few paragraphs could all go a bit tits up and descend into verbal madness. Given my feelings on the subject, I'd say there's about a 79% chance of that happening. Oh well. Here goes...
I've been intrigued by this so-called Fur-Effect nail malarkey ever since pictures of the tantalisingly bright little pots were first bandied about over Twitter a few weeks ago. So on my way home from work I stopped by Superdrug and decided to find out what all the
This could well be the worst three pounds I have ever spent in my life. Worse, even, than the time I bought 'just one more pint of cider' and ended up crawling out of the pub with my head in a bucket. Think I'm exaggerating? Think again.
Oh MUA, where to start? Your lipglosses are usually spot-on, and your shade 4 blusher is the one constant in my make-up bag. Who in their right mind made the decision to market this box of tat? I'll outline the errors for you in bullet-point form, so maybe the appropriate steps can be taken towards modifying this product/removing it from store shelves and taking great care to ensure that it's never seen again.
- As many bloggers have already highlighted, the 'ingenious' sifter design actually just limits access to the damn fluff, resulting in muchos pot-shaking, base-bashing and grumblings galore. A frustrating ordeal in itself.
- Once the fluff has been released from its plastic prison, getting it from lid to nail is an exercise in mental self-injury for two reasons. 1) No matter what angle you approach it from, your thumb will always end up half-covered and the rest will have to be patted on with your finger. 2) The fact that your nail varnish needs to be still-wet in order for the fluff to stick also makes this a very messy procedure indeed.
- Call me old-fashioned, but when I see a product that advertises 'fur-effect', I expect said product to at least vaguely match up to its claim. MUA Fur-Effect Nails do make me look like I've glued fuzzy felt to my fingers. They do, when glanced at, look a fair bit like the residue left on one's hands when one has spent a day at the funfair demolishing a 1kg bag of candyfloss. They do, as Oli kindly pointed out, "look like a badly-disguised fungal infection." What they don't look like is BLOODY FUR.
Hang on, Oli's starting to look a bit concerned.
"You're not seriously going to leave that on, are you?"
No. No I'm bloody not. Over and out, compadres!
Betti Baudelaire xxx