MUA Fur Effect Nails review

WHAT IS THIS MADNESS??

As a few of you may know, I spend a fair amount of my time writing complimentary/cutting words about music and dance for a couple of magazines and newspapers. I enjoy it, and don't think I'm too bad at it.  However, I don't think I've ever done a product review before - mostly because I never buy anything - so the following few paragraphs could all go a bit tits up and descend into verbal madness. Given my feelings on the subject, I'd say there's about a 79% chance of that happening. Oh well. Here goes...

I've been intrigued by this so-called Fur-Effect nail malarkey ever since pictures of the tantalisingly bright little pots were first bandied about over Twitter a few weeks ago. So on my way home from work I stopped by Superdrug and decided to find out what all the fuzz fuss was about for myself.

BIG mistake.

This could well be the worst three pounds I have ever spent in my life. Worse, even, than the time I bought 'just one more pint of cider' and ended up crawling out of the pub with my head in a bucket. Think I'm exaggerating? Think again.

Oh MUA, where to start? Your lipglosses are usually spot-on, and your shade 4 blusher is the one constant in my make-up bag. Who in their right mind made the decision to market this box of tat? I'll outline the errors for you in bullet-point form, so maybe the appropriate steps can be taken towards modifying this product/removing it from store shelves and taking great care to ensure that it's never seen again.

• As many bloggers have already highlighted, the 'ingenious' sifter design actually just limits access to the damn fluff, resulting in muchos pot-shaking, base-bashing and grumblings galore. A frustrating ordeal in itself.
• Once the fluff has been released from its plastic prison, getting it from lid to nail is an exercise in mental self-injury for two reasons. 1) No matter what angle you approach it from, your thumb will always end up half-covered and the rest will have to be patted on with your finger. 2) The fact that your nail varnish needs to be still-wet in order for the fluff to stick also makes this a very messy procedure indeed.
• Call me old-fashioned, but when I see a product that advertises 'fur-effect', I expect said product to at least vaguely match up to its claim. MUA Fur-Effect Nails do make me look like I've glued fuzzy felt to my fingers. They do, when glanced at, look a fair bit like the residue left on one's hands when one has spent a day at the funfair demolishing a 1kg bag of candyfloss. They do, as Oli kindly pointed out, "look like a badly-disguised fungal infection." What they don't look like is BLOODY FUR. 

I can totally see what MUA were trying to achieve with this fluzzle/fluffle/whatever crap. In theory, fur-effect nails sound AWESOME. Even though they obviously weren't going to look like a sleek kitty coat, I'd hoped that they would at least be a refreshingly uber-matte, uber-chic antidote to metallics. It doesn't work. In their vague attempt to ride this current wave of nail-mania and push the boat out even further, MUA have surfed one break too far and created the manicure equivalent of a much-used shower mat. Nice idea, very poor execution.

Hang on, Oli's starting to look a bit concerned.

"You're not seriously going to leave that on, are you?"

No. No I'm bloody not. Over and out, compadres!

Betti Baudelaire xxx

WE WILL VACATION YOU WILL BE MY PARASOL

At long last, the ice has started to thaw. Joy! As a result, I have stopped hibernating in my living room and today ventured outside for more than five minutes

It was a much needed little amble. I'm starting to crack a bit under the weight of all this University and extra-curricular work, and after spending the last week glued either to a laptop, book or manuscript I was pleasantly reminded that actually, there is a world beyond my dissertation out there.

So mentally frazzled am I that last week I decided to cheer myself up...by getting a new tattoo! I originally intended to get a small black cat silhouette on the nape of my neck. However, I had a chat with Jules at Frontier (who I've known for a while) and he managed to convince me in his mellifluous Welsh accent that actually, that would be rubbish. He then whipped out one hell of a drawing, which we then talked over and modified before etching onto the tender skin of my inner arm.

HOLY COW, this one hurt like a bitch. After the relatively painless experience of my first tattoo I was totally unprepared for the ouchies of a 1.5 hour sitting. The first hour or so was fine and dandy, but as Jules was finishing off the last bits of colour my other arm started to twitch involuntarily, and I near crushed Oli's hand as I tried to block out the pain and focus on Zoe's cat-related stories and the relentless Dropkick Murphys soundtrack.

It was all worth it though, because now I have little Mittens here to accompany me wherever I go!

In another attempt to beat the January blues Jenny and I stopped by the Zara sale yesterday and found this incredibly upbeat (if verging on nonsensical) tee-dress for £9.99. I cultivated a love of badly translated English slogan t-shirts when travelling this summer, so finding this clumsily-worded little gem in the reduced rack ensured that a goofy grin was stuck on my face all day, memories of Krakow and Genova fresh in my mind. Nice one, Zara. Your cut-price positive-mentality mantras have alleviated my dissertation distress...for now.

 Tee-dress - Zara, 'trash' hairclip - Lunacy, boots - Eccentrix, bag - Tea&Cake

Betti Baudelaire xxx

Two of Hearts

As part of my continuing obsession with all things tasteless and 80's I am seeking solace from the relentless onslaught of brain-pummeling work by fangirling over Stacey Q. I'd suggest you all do the same.

Cardigans of glory! Awful DIY! Oh, the humanity *faints*

Hello, folks! I've neglected to post for over a week again. Bad Blogger skills indeed. Somebody needs to slap my wrists. I'll ask Tanya to give me a hefty whack when I go visit her at the end of the month (which is going to be AWESOME) Maybe corporal punishment will encourage me to stick to my 2013 resolution. I categorically do NOT mean that in a 50 Shades way, just so you know. This post is not cryptically suggesting that I've suddenly developed BDSM tendencies, rather just optimising my search engine potential because, y'know, sadism is so friggin' now.

But I digress. Alongside piddling on with my dissertation (which is finally coming together), editing an historical novel by the lovely Dawn Kane, getting back into the swing of reviewing for Media Wales, trying to pull together features ideas for the next issue of the Phoenix, pulling pints at the pub, planning my new tattoo  and attempting to uphold some sort of rudimentary social life, I found the time to nip into the newly-opened Cardiff Fashion Quarter and pick up this gem of a cardigan.

I particularly love the old man and his cane. What a bargain at only 20 squids! This may be a bit of a narcissism overload, but I think this cardi was destined to rest on my shoulders. The lady who served us there was such a winner, too. Oli and I had a 45 minute conversation with her about her second-hand furniture business and the joys of tackling car boot sales at 5am. If any of you are in Cardiff soon, take a trip down. The place is magic.

Cardigan - Cardiff Fashion Quarter, blouse - charity shop, shorts - DIY-ed, necklace - Lunacy boutique, boots - Eccentrix.

DIY TIME!


I cracked out my sewing machine again and designed this super-cute little panel skirt which is insanely easy to make, so I thought I'd put together what is quite possibly the worst DIY tutorial on the interweb and show you all how easy it is to put one of these together. A lot of people I know run in fear at the mere mention of a sewing machine, thinking that you need to be some kind of a design whiz to put together something even remotely wearable. Not so, chums! Making your own skirt from scratch is a blast. I'm one of the laziest shoddy-job people on the planet when it comes to whipping up garments, so if I can do it SO THE HELL CAN YOU.

You will need:
- A sewing machine (because hand-sewing is a shirtcut to hand-cramp)
- 1.5 - 2 metres of fabric (depending on the desired length of the skirt)
- Thread in your chosen colour
- A 10-inch zip
- Scissors
- Tape measure, pins and marker
- A straight, flat thing (a ruler might help...I used a box lid) to draw your pattern
- Wrapping paper

First of all, measure around your waist. Then, take that measurement and divide it by six. Take a piece of wrapping paper (mine was a piece left over from another circle skirt pattern and draw a line that matches this 1/6th of your waist. From the middle of that line, measure vertically the length that you want your skirt to be and draw a straight line down. At the bottom of this line, double the top measurement and draw a line where you want your hemline to be. For instance, I have a 30 inch waist, so my top line was 5 inches and my bottom line was 10 inches (duh). Then match up the top and bottom lines so you are left with a trapezoid shape, like so...

Cut this pattern out, allowing 0.5 inch or so seam allowance. Then pin this panel to your fabric. I took the lazy route and folded my fabric twice so that with just a couple of chops I had four identical panels. I'd recommend doing this if your fabric isn't too thick. Cutting is boring.

So you've got your six panels. Now you need to pin them together with the right sides touching, taking care to not yet make the skirt into a full circle. You should have something that looks like this:

Now sew, sew like you have never sewed before! Sew directly up, and backstitch over the beginning and end to make sure your skirt doesn't fall apart whist you're wearing it. That's inconvenient.
You can now make your waistband, which is super-easy. Take some of your leftover fabric and cut out a long, thin rectangle that is slightly longer than your waist measurement and double as wide as you want it. Now fold it over, pin, and sew. Don't worry about the whole right sides together, turn it inside out malarkey. The nasty edge will be hidden within the skirt.

I stopped taking photo's here because a) I got too carried away with making the damn thing and b) I'm an idiot. SO - fold the tops of each panels in and pin the waistband to the top of your skirt with the ends at each end of the unfinished skirt. Sew that shit together.




Now measure how far the zip goes down on the two end panels and mark with a pencil. Pin the bottoms of the two end panels together to that mark and sew up. Now, I am far too tired to even begin talking about how to insert a zip, so I'll just assure you that it's far easier than it looks and advise you to click here. That there is the way to make a zipper look pro. I don't do that - quelle surprise, I take the lazy option which involves just pinning it on the inside and hoping for the best - but I'd advise reading that tutorial and learning the correct way before chucking that out the window and taking the slacker route.

Finally, go around the edge of your hemline, folding up about 0.5inch as you go and sew like mad. Expect a bit of ruffling - circular hems are a bit of a bitch.

Et voila! You have a panel skirt! You might want to iron the seams too. I personally don't, as I don't own an iron. Ya rly.

If any of this made little to no sense to you, please let me know. I'm hoping to do more tutorials in the future and confusing the hell out of people isn't what I want to achieve so feedback would be aces!

Adios chums!

Betti Baudelaire xxx

Imperial Marchin' or I wish Kathleen Hanna was my girlfriend.

Today has been mostly spent re-listening to old Le Tigre albums in my bedroom, quietly bemoaning the fact that I will never, ever be as awesome as Kathleen Hanna.

On the plus side, my hair is beehaving. Get it? BEE-having? Like, it's a beehive, and it's...ach, never mind. My excellent puns are wasted on t'internet.

Coat - H&M, Brekkie Club jumper - Primark menswear, skirt - Hobo's, badge and bow - charity shop, bag - as always,creepers - Niche.

I also met my all-time hero under the bright lights of Hamleys. Move over Oli, there's a new fancy man in town.

 Lego Darth Vader - now THERE'S a project. Sadly I had to make do with a £1.25 motivational Lego-lady that I created (ahem) myself. The pink top is to remind me to introduce more colour into my wardrobe. The ponytail clip-on hair is to encourage me to grow my locks long. The gun is to keep me focussed on my long-term goal: to stage a military coup and take on the world from my balcony.

Dissertation calls! Over and out, comrades.

Betti Baudelaire xxx

Treats forgotten and found

As part of my 'be a better blogger in 2013' resolution I've been meddling with the settings on my not-so-trusty camera in order to get better snaps for this 'ere page. Following the disasterous photographic tragedy below, I think I'll stick to auto mode and my back garden, even if it makes me sad that I can't make use of the posh, private Cardiff Uni avenue behind my house. Balls.

Blouse - charity shop, jumper - Peacocks, necklace - Camden market, skirt - River Island, bag - Tea and Cake.

^Good collar, no?

The other forgotten treats are pieces of jewellery I recently rescued from a dusty, neglected box in my bedroom. Some of them haven't seen the light of day since I was 14. Tis time for you to shine, my dodgy neck candy friends.

Ignore the burn marks on my jumper. I really must lay off the lying-down lazy girl smoking.

Betti Baudelaire xxx